A path back to civility and kindness is paved in humility.

Some take away thoughts following amazing presentation by Arthur C. Brooks at the 2024 Global Leadership Conference.

1. Generally speaking we don’t have an anger problem. The modern invention of print and increased literacy created a wonderful margin where anger can cool and diminish over time – an emotional and mental distance between our initial, passionate reaction and impulsive irrational actions to a given dilemma or conflict.

2. Additionally we don’t have a problem with disagreement or opposing views. Modern printed literacy and education over the past 400 years or so has provided us with margin to process thoughts and a vehicle to make thoughtful logical arguments needed to find realistic compromise.

There’s more to it. What we have in our current postmodern digital environment is a contempt problem. (Contempt is anger + disgust.) Contempt is what leads otherwise civil, gracious, people to be and act unkind and selfish.

Contempt is foundational to hate. There is no logical argument that can sway another out of contempt because it’s not really about right and wrong, good or bad, truth or fiction. Contempt is about imposing one’s will and convincing one’s self of the worthlessness of another. It’s more a personal or theological attack on another’s being or personhood. And there are those among us, from all walks, who masterfully and shamefully leverage this to their advantage be it for personal gain, a “just” cause, a passionate belief, theology or ideology, or evil mischief.

In the modern linear analog period, features like literacy, intellect, and empathy fueled the concept of hero, civility, logical thought, and democracy.

In our current postmodern non-linear digital culture however, characteristics such as hyper-literacy, real-time global communications, and almost immediate transfer of endless information (and misinformation) fuels the concept of celebrity, anxiety, lack of civil discourse, and violent tribal outbursts born of frustration, hate, entitlement, and impatience. We’ve become hopelessly reactionary to just about everything.

The democratic system was not designed to navigate and utilize postmodern tribal-style hate. The modern concept of democracy was born out of a written document, printed and distributed to the masses based on civil discourse and compromise. Democracy accommodates anger, invites and values disagreement, arguments, opinions, and was the very foundation of our rule of law.

As we now discovered, observe, and experience, one way to effectively divert democracy, civility, unity, and thoughtful logic (in a postmodern literate world) is to introduce contempt and hate. There’s no longer an argument to be won. Picking a president, for example has little to do with policy, performance, or character. If you are not hatefully outraged, your opinion doesn’t qualify. If you don’t hate the other side, you’re written off by some as not committed. If you can vilify and dehumanize your opponent then debating facts and ideas become pointless, unnecessary, and less effective than in a modern time. Exclusively human traits, such as compassion, sympathy, empathy, grace, and generosity, become extinguished and relegated to the butt of juvenile “woke” jokes.

It’s no longer about logic, reason, or candor. Why? I believe contempt is easier, more expedient and efficient, requires little investment of intellect or understanding, and no participation or compromise.

When we collectively insist on imposing our individual wills upon others, there is no room or desire for compromise. It’s often less about the need to be right as it is the obsession to win or to feel superior. It’s as if many find their personal  identity, value, and worth in acting aggressively condescending.

Additionally some might even say there’s an element of subversive evil inherent in the overall way we treat each other in the current postmodern climate.

Stopping hate starts with you (and me), and among those who think like us – refusing to tolerate illogical vindictive language, arrogance of self, and the spirit of contempt. Call it out sooner than later.

“You” whoever you are, and me, simply don’t have the capacity to effectively impose our individual will on free people. It damages democracy and destroys trust.  It erodes kindness and is counter productive to our goals (unless of course your primary goal is to seek and destroy your neighbor).  It ruins any shred of credibility and believability the aggressor might actually have with a valid point.

It starts with you and those in your orbit. You can’t readily change or convince the “other side” when contempt is central to everyone’s thinking. Stand up and challenge the hate close to you.

Debate ideas but don’t lend credence to contempt. Don’t join in and perpetuate contempt. Don’t validate it with your silence, don’t be intimidated by it, don’t give it an ounce of oxygen.

Actively stifling the spirit of contempt (within our circles of affinity and influence) is a way back to civil discourse, mutual respect, and trust. It’s a way back to kindness.

#breakthehate
#mcluhan
#beyondself
#whatmattersmatters
#leadership
#postmodern
#getoveryourself